


in the words of CAKE

by tomcollins



Series: Apartmentstuck [1]
Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Crossdressing, Crossdressing Kink, Fluff, Fluffy Ending, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 05:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomcollins/pseuds/tomcollins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>'“Why did I ever agree to this?” Karkat sighed.<br/>Dave shushed him, stepping back.<br/>“I wanna girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooong jacket”<br/>“OH MY GOG”'</p>
            </blockquote>





	in the words of CAKE

**Author's Note:**

  * For [OneOddKitteh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OneOddKitteh/gifts).



> based on the song short skirt/long jacket by Cake, Karkat learns why he should never bet against Dave

Dave walked in the door with his headphones around his neck, humming a song that had been stuck in his head all day. He slid off his shoes and tossed his bag down carelessly making it hit a wall and slide down, sagging on the ground. He strode over to the sofa and threw himself down onto it making the troll, who happened to be sitting on the sofa reading one of those troll romance novels, fly up into the air and drop his book on the floor. Karkat glared at Dave but Dave just ignored him. Karkat bent down and picked up his book and disgruntledly attempted to find his page again. Dave leaned back against the arm of the sofa and lifted his legs onto Karkat’s lap, knocking the book from his hands once again with his feet.  
“Dave!” Karkat growled.  
Dave raised an eyebrow above his shades and his lip quirked into a smirk.  
“What Karkitty?” Dave questioned.  
Karkat groaned. Oh how he hated that nickname.  
“I’m trying to read you grubfucker!” He snarled in response.  
“Oh?”  
Dave leaned forward and picked up the book off the ground holding it sideways by the back cover.  
“This troll porn?” Dave asked.  
Karkat’s grey skin blushed bright red.  
“No you bulge head!” Karkat screeched, trying to swipe the book out of Dave’s hand.  
Dave chuckled and turned to a random page in the book.  
“Oh take me Dofoso!” Dave sang dramatically in a fake girl’s voice.  
At this Karkat rolled his eyes.  
“Not once does that get said in the book, nor is ‘Dosfoso’ a real troll name” Karkat sighed.  
Dave dropped the book on the ground and sat back down.  
“Well, it was worth a try” Dave laughed.  
Karkat groaned and sat back down too, deciding to leave his book entirely. Dave went back to humming. He then stopped and looked at Karkat before smiling to himself.  
“Hey Karkles, want to have some fun?” Dave winked.  
Karkat narrowed his eyes.  
“What sort of fun?” he questioned.  
“How about a little bet, whoever loses has to do whatever the other wants.” Dave smirked.

Karkat smirked back.  
“What’s this bet then?”  
Dave thought for a moment.  
“I bet you that I can jump off the balcony and not hurt myself!” Dave announced.  
Karkat furrowed his brow.  
“Dave we’re five stories up” Karkat stated.  
Dave looked at him and laughed.  
“Yeah but I’m like a super sugoi anime character without the dumb triangles!” Dave scoffed.  
Karkat sighed.  
“It will be your corpse party.”  
Dave smiled and walked towards the door towards the balcony. He opened it dramatically letting a wave of the autumn air outside waft inside. Karkat got up from the couch and followed him out. Karkat looked over the edge and shuddered. He looked back at Dave with a look that said ‘are you sure?’ Dave nodded. He climbed up on the railing and crouched looking over. He then began humming that song again, this time mumbling a few words under his breath.  
“I wanna girl with shoes that cut and eyes that burn like cigarettes.”  
Karkat bit his lip, still unsure about this. Dave laughed under his breath before leaping off the balcony. Karkat gasped and reached out to stop him but it was too late. Dave had been plummeting for about a second before he disappeared completely. Just, pop, gone.  
“What?” Karkat questioned.  
He heard a chuckle behind him and jumped. There Dave was, leaning against the doorway.  
“Well well Karkitty, looks like I’ve won” He smirked.  
It then dawned on Karkat what Dave had done.  
“Wait! You fucking time jumped!” Karkat growled.  
Dave raised an eyebrow and cocked his head.  
“I said I could jump off the balcony and not get hurt, I never said what type of jumping” He laughed.  
Karkat snarled.  
“You cheated you bulge-licker!” Karkat seethed.  
“Nope, it was a fair win, TZ would agree” Dave stated.  
Karkat sighed.  
“What do you want?”  
Dave smirked and walked inside to his bedroom. When he came out he was carrying a bundle of clothes. He picked an item up from the top of the pile and held it up. Karkat’s eyes widened and Dave stepped forward.  
“I wanna girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooong jacket!”  
Karkat shook his head frantically.  
“Nope, no way, nuh uh, no!” He said waving his hands and stepping back.  
Dave started humming and stepping forward to the rhythm in his head.  
“We agreed anything Karkat” Dave cooed.  
He grabbed Karkat’s arm and led him inside, pushing him onto the couch. Karkat sighed.  
“Skirt first!” Dave said.  
He picked up a black and red tartan skirt from the pile and examined it before chucking it to Karkat. Karkat stood up and picked it up with a groan.  
“Well, turn around then” he blushed.  
“That defeats the purpose” Dave said raising an eyebrow.  
Karkat gave him a mortified look but Dave just continued to look at him. Karkat sighed before unbuckling his jeans and sliding them down. He tried to cover himself with his body the best he could but Dave just circled around him.  
“Nice crab briefs” He smirked.  
Karkat blushed but continued. Pulling up the skirt the best he could, which was up to his thighs.  
“Dave it doesn’t fit”  
Dave laughed.  
“Squeeze your ass in!” Dave scoffed.  
Karkat glared and did his best to do as Dave said, finally pulling the skirt up and over his hips, clasping it shut with a button. He looked down.  
“It’s so fucking short” He growled.  
Dave stifled a chuckle.  
“Yeah” He winked.  
Karkat groaned and Dave picked up the next item of clothing while singing.  
“I wanna girl with uninterrupted prosperity. Who uses some sickles to cut through red tape” Dave crooned.  
The item he had picked up was a black crop top with Karkat’s cancer symbol on it.  
“Ok I have to ask, why the fuck do you have this and why?” Karkat asked.  
Dave smiled and tapped his nose. Oh, time travel. Of course. Dave chucked it to him.  
“Go on then!” Dave urged.  
Karkat took off his own long sleeve shirt and threw it to the ground picking up the skimpy item of clothing that Dave had picked out. He shivered from the cold air that was streaming through the still open balcony door. He sighed. Karkat struggled to get the top over his head let alone get his arms through the armholes. He eventually managed and looked at Dave with a glare, folding his arms.  
“What now?” Karkat snarled.  
Dave silenced him before walking behind the troll and singing in his ear.  
“She’s playing with her jewellery, she putting up her hair she’s touring the facility and picking up slack” He whispered making Karkat shudder.  
He then turned giving Dave a confused look. Dave just laughed to himself before slipping behind Karkat and jumping on him, wrapping his legs around his waist. He grabbed Karkat’s Hair and pulling it back while Karkat snarled and tried to get the blonde teenager off him. Dave worked quickly and with a bit of effort managed to get Karkat’s hair back into a small ponytail. Dave jumped off and circled around to admire his work from the front.  
“WHAT THE BULGE FONDLING FUCK DAVE!” Karkat shouted.  
Dave burst out laughing making Karkat growl. Dave turned back around picking up another item.  
“Now, I borrowed a little something from Nepeta…” Dave began.  
“What…” Karkat frowned.  
Dave turned around and began singing again  
“At city bank we will meet accidently, we’ll start to talk when she borrows my pen”  
Dave stepped forward carrying what only could be described as… well… a long jacket. Karkat was done with trying to prevent this from happening. He instead held out his arm for Dave to come over and put it on him.  
“Why did I ever agree to this?” Karkat sighed.  
Dave shushed him, stepping back.  
“I wanna girl with a short skirt and a loooooooooooooooong jacket”  
“OH MY GOG”  
Dave examined his work.  
“Hmmm…. Something missing”  
Karkat’s eyes widened.  
“What the hell can be missing?”  
“Ah!”  
“Ah?”  
Dave clapped his hands together with a huge grin on his face.  
“Fishnets!” He announced triumphantly.  
Dave disappeared into his bedroom and came back holding what looked like netting of some sort. Karkat held his hand out for them but Dave shook his head.  
“I will do this part” He said with a wink.  
Karkat groaned for what seemed like the 100th time but allowed it. Dave got down on his knees near Karkat’s bare legs. He gestured for Karkat to raise one leg and pulled the stocking over his foot. Humming to himself he rolled it up to the top of his thigh.  
“She’s changing her name, from Karkitty to Karen…”  
Dave Gestured for Karkat to lift up his other leg. Karkat hesitated, wondering how he would get his leg up that far. Dave urged him again and Karkat lifted it up as far as he could, holding onto Dave’s head for support and accidently flashing him in the process.  
“Whoa ho! Thanks for the view” Dave winked.  
Karkat blushed and Dave rolled the fishnets up his legs. He stepped back once again and nodded in approval. Karkat blushed again.  
“Am I done now Dave?” Karkat asked.  
Dave shook his head.  
“We have to go show you off!” Dave smirked.  
Karkat’s eyes widened as Dave grabbed his arm.  
“NO!” He objected.  
Dave ignored him and began dragging the troll out. Karkat struggled against him, and usually, because troll strength is superior to human strength, he would have won, but Karkat was easily one of the weakest of the trolls. Dave dragged him out into the hall of the apartment and along to the stairs.  
And with that the visiting began. They visited everyone and some of the reactions were priceless. Terezi had cracked up laughing and insisted on taking a picture on her newly-acquired-newly-mastered IPhone. Rose had opened her door, stared at Karkat questionably and closed it again, followed by the sound of talking, most likely to Kanaya. John Had opened his door and become instantly embarrassed and flustered.  
When Dave and Karkat got back to their apartment Karkat threw the jacket off onto the ground and stormed off muttering things like ‘so fucking embarrassing’ and ‘worst idea ever’. Dave followed him to Karkat’s room and tilted his head, suddenly feeling sorry for the troll. He sighed and walked behind Karkat, wrapping his arms around the troll’s waist and pulling him down onto his bed. Karkat struggled but then relaxed.  
“Karkat” Dave muttered.  
Karkat turned his head to the human.  
“Yes Dave?” he mumbled.  
“I think you’re a very attractive girl” He smiled.  
Dave leaned forward and pressed a small kiss onto Karkat’s lips. Karkat smiled.  
“Of course I am”


End file.
